Today's fact is a guest fact from Richard Farrell.
The Spanish pirate Peach Beard Del Gato is considered by many to be History's most pathetic pirate. Standing at a mere five foot nothing, with a hint of stubble on his face and a receding hairline, he was rarely able to intimidate anyone. In fact, when asked about a robbery Del Gato committed, the tavern owner could only reply, “That was a pirate?”
The owner's confusion is understandable. Del Gato had all limbs intact and both eyes “unpatched.” His hat had been lost years before, and he was never able to afford a new one. Also, it was well documented that his parrot had a history of flying away, probably because it couldn't perch comfortably on his slanted shoulder. In Del Gato's defense, however, no one in the tavern got a good look at him as he ran out the door, stolen wine cooler in hand.
While Del Gato never did successfully plunder a vessel on the open ocean (terrible bouts of seasickness severely limited the time he spent on his ship), he was able to have one big score in his lifetime. Del Gato's best claim to fame was his plundering of the Deer Bone and Ligament Trading Company. While two employees were transporting a shipment, Del Gato snuck behind them while their backs were turned and made off with a crate of deer bone mustache combs. The two employees saw him running away, looked at each other, shrugged, and returned to work.
Del Gato took the crate onto his ship, El Puso del Mar, and set sail for the sea. He didn't get far however. Because of a combination of shoddy craftsmanship, too few crew members, and Del Gato's general incompetence, his ship foundered about a mile and a half off the shore. Del Gato immediately promoted his first mate to Captain and fled in the only life boat. He lived the remaining three years of his life in a quiet seaside village writing Gulliver’s Travels fan fiction and telling people of his few, mediocre adventures until he eventually lost his life in a duel with a 10 year old girl.
El Puso Del Mar remained lost until it was recently discovered by novice deep sea explorer Kevin Douglass. This was Douglass' first discovery and excavation project. He was unable to hide his disappointment, “At first my team and I were pumped up, but then we figured out whose ship it was. I mean.. nothing but combs...”
Indeed, the find was certainly underwhelming. The only plunder on board was the single crate of mustache combs which holds absolutely no historical significance or value. To make matters worse, Del Gato was a strict pacifist. There were no cannons, swords, or antique firearms anywhere on the ship. In fact, the discovery ended up costing the team thousands of dollars; it is unlikely they will recover. Douglass says this experience was enough to turn him off from treasure hunting forever. “Yeah, imagine how that guy felt when he opened up King Tut's tomb. Now imagine the exact opposite of that feeling. I hope McDonald's is still accepting applications.”
©Factopolis - Daily Fun Facts and Useless Knowledge
No comments:
Post a Comment