Thirsty partygoers and responsible parents lookin’ for a frosty, fruity thrill can find drive-thru strawberry daiquiri stands just about anywhere in New Orleans. However, this local treat may be causing a very syrupy problem on its city streets: Clever patrons mask the fact that they are drinking and driving by keeping unopened restaurant straws handy.
Police aren’t laughing at the fact that these daiquiri-toting “straw men” tend to cause traffic accidents. Officer Rengold told Factopolis that “street hooligans driving with opened strawberry daiquiris are responsible for at least 35 injuries a year, mostly due to illegal street racing and gang-related drive-bys.”
Drive-thrus now limit customers to only one straw per visit, and they can no longer pack adult-strength strawberry daiquiris with kids' meals. Unfortunately, an underground market for daiquiri straws thrives on eBay and amongst NOLA’s most notorious drug rings.
Officer Rengold urges concerted action. “Not only do we need to brush our teeth of this sugary madness rotting our morals, but we also need to brush our streets clean of this ‘berry’ big problem by putting these thugs on ice.”
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I always knew that strawberry daiquiris were responsible for the majority of gang-related drive bys!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Factopolis for giving me the data I needed to back up my hypothesis!